I won’t bore you with my greetings or usual silliness because if you’re reading this then it is more than likely you’re wondering where I disappeared to for the bottom half of 2017. It’s quite simple really–I was hiding under my bed. Listen, people, I have made it no secret that like many other writers & artists I battle with depression & anxiety. (They love me. I’m their favorite pudding face author) So it should come as no surprise that 2017 got really intense, really quickly for me. There are details that I shall not share because, hey, I am entitled to being crazy privately, but man oh man shit got reeeaaalll. The folks in my head with claws & fangs & magical abilities & huge bank accounts & star potential went so silent that the quiet was deafening and more than anything I needed their clamoring chatter to drown out the rest of the world. It did not come. I vacationed. I slept. I ate at many restaurants (yay for not being able to fit my favorite jeggings anymore!) I listened to music. I binge watched shows that I would fight you for insulting (see numerous tweets about Xena) And yet, it did not come. I wept. I prayed. I cuddled my dog. And yet, (you see where I’m going with this.) I had been abandoned by the beloved personas that kept me slightly more sane than my religious beliefs. It saddened me. Felt like a fall from grace. And the works that I had doled out before the crash of my word conquering? I wasn’t satisfied with them. I didn’t love them. I didn’t hate them. I was dispassionate. It bled over into so many other areas and a spiral began that I recognized as a lack of self-care. So I bowed out. I silenced myself on Facebook & Twitter and closed MS word. I decided I needed a break. I took one. There was a lot of healing to be done. There still is if I’m being completely honest. But allowing myself to breathe & think & be nonsensical brought a cacophony of sound echoing back into the dark fathomless cave that is my creative mind. And here I am. A little bruised but not damaged; a little bent but not broken. I have returned to deliver quality laughs given by quality content. I have releases in mind and a steely determination to see them done; to see my characters flourish once more. I am back. And I truly believe I’m better than ever.
–Nikki signing in.