They’re here. They’re fierce. Get used to it!
Naresh: Ms. Malachi, this is your friendly neighborhood carpet cleaning gigolo. I was wondering if we could discuss my open time slots. Between two other women that I met on the produce aisle and one slightly frightening female from the pharmacy section that I’m iffy about, I could fit you in for a few hours on Friday.
Snickering, he sat in his chair and began to contemplate if he were in the mood for hunting or not. He’d just gotten comfortable when his phone buzzed with a new text.
Kissa: I KNEW you had to be a man-whore. Who buys spring mist carpet cleaner? Men who have entirely too much activity happening in their bedrooms, that’s who. Has the scent of bad decisions and low self-esteem faded from the rugs as of yet?
Sweet. Jesus. The woman had a sense of humor. An actual, intelligent, enthralling, sense of humor. His fingers moved faster than he could think.
Naresh: There’s still a little disparity and self-disgust floating around BUT scented plug-ins are slowly wafting that away.
Kissa: Thank you for making me choke on my coffee. And if you make that into a dirty innuendo, I will find you and I will shave you bald.
Naresh: I could live without my hair. Besides, it would only grow back within a day or so as you well know, my fellow kitty.
Kissa: I wasn’t talking about the hair on your head…
Naresh: Can I just say that I am thoroughly appreciating the turn this conversation has taken?
Verbal sparring was making him hard. It was official, he was slowly losing the characteristics that made him so inherently feline.
Kissa: Would you still appreciate it if I posted pictures of your shaved bits on a site called bigtoysforbigboys.com and listed you as versatile?
Naresh looked down and yup, still hard. He was a sick, sick individual.
Naresh: We couldn’t be friends anymore if that happened. I like being your friend.
Kissa: When I have friends, I usually know their names.
Naresh: Ah, we’re back there again eh? You want my name so you can do a thorough background search right?
Kissa: Considering the fact that your thighs are big enough to crush and smother me like an anaconda would do a small mammal in the wild? The only logical answer to that is yes.
Naresh: Tell me I can take you out on Friday and I’ll tell you my name.
Kissa: I would love to tell you that, but things are a bit intense right now. Rain check?
Oh no, that wouldn’t do at all. Naresh turned on his camera, pulled it back a bit, angled it as he lifted his shirt and snapped a picture reminiscent of their grocery store meeting before sending it off. Three minutes later his phone rang.
He grinned and picked up. “Did you call because the thought of what my sleep roughened voice may sound like excites you?”
There was a snort. “I called to ask why I’m currently staring at a picture of you…pouting?”
Chuckling, Naresh said, “Can’t you read the utter disparity in my eyes? Can’t you see my desperation and disappointment? I poured my soul out into that look.”
“Yes, and I can also see your nipples,” Kissa responded drily. “Which, by the way, look a little too large. You may wanna get that checked out.”
His smile widened. “You sweet talker you.”
Her laugh woke his tiger and Naresh rubbed a hand over his chest to calm the erratic beat in his pulse at the melodic pitch. “For some reason I find your particular brand of charm cute rather than psychotic.”
He put his gaze on the ceiling as he tried to imagine exactly how she looked on the other side of the line. “Because I am cute. I’m very cute.”
“Mm-hmm…” she sighed. “The trout pout is endearing, but I can’t promise you anything.”
“But I look so pathetic!”
Kissa chuckled. “I know!”
Naresh’s voice dropped. “Is it because my complete and utter masculinity intimidates you? If so, I can understand.”
“Wow,” she breathed. “The arrogance in that one statement is astounding.”
“Why can’t you be just a little greedy and allow yourself to bask in my wonder for just a few hours?” he questioned.
She was silent. “The fact that you seem so determined is making me want to.”
“Then do it,” Naresh insisted. “Do it for yourself, do it for me, do it for the trout pout!”
“Lord on high…”
His lips curved. “Kissa.”
If he didn’t know any better he’d swear he’d heard a catch in her voice right before her tone dipped and she demanded, “Say my name again…the way you just said it.”
He did and there was a long deep sigh along with a murmured, “That fucking rumble is going to be the death of me.”
Naresh barely resisted the urge to comment on the fact that he would gladly recite the alphabet if she wanted him to…while his face was taking up comfortable residency between her thighs.
“Please,” he coaxed.
“Is it going to involve Tijuana, the illegal sale of exotic fruits and a high speed chase with the federales?”
His head tilted. “I dunno how to respond to that without scaring you off.”
He imagined her rolling her eyes.
“My dating track record has not been bueno, sir.”
“And yet, here you are, already falling in love with a male prostitute. Who is offering you a bit of time and attention for free. Do you know how hard it is to find a feline whore who will work for free?”
“Okay, all right,” Kissa laughed. “I’m all yours for a few hours on Friday.”
The compulsion to roar lodged in his throat and he pushed it down.
Then she added, “For completely non-sexual, non-illegal, non-depraved activities.”
“Well there goes at least ninety percent of my fun,” Naresh retorted.
“You seem like a capable, creative individual, I’m sure you can find something that will completely overshadow the horrors of not being able to participate in corrupt shenanigans.”
He smirked. “Eventually, Kissa, you’ll learn that I have the ability to corrupt everything.”
“Strangely, I don’t doubt that at all…”
When, Nikki? When?!
*steeples fingers with devious grin* Soon, my minions, soon…